RESPECT FOR PARENTS
God has established four principles for the human race in order to provide
maximum order, stability and freedom. They can be called DIVINE INSTITUTIONS
or divine morality.
See Topic: MORALITY as designed by God.
A. Volition: You are your own authority. That is, you have the freedom
anything you want, and the freedom to ATTEMPT anything you want. The
restriction on this of course, is – as long as it does not bring harm to
another or violate
God’s spiritual or moral standards.
B. Marriage: One man and one woman in a unique soul and body relationship
exclusive to them alone, and in which lies the boundary for sex and
In this relationship, both function together
to make personal and societal decisions>
However, the final authority rests with the man according to divine
For details on this see Topic: MARRIAGE
C. Family: This is the unit that provides the proper environment for the
training of children so that they can take their place within society as
productive individuals. The parents are the authority structure in the
family and are the
ones who have responsibility for training and discipline – NOT SOCIETY.
As individual family units began to increase, the need for social
government developed. But because of man's sin nature, there existed the
tendency to distort government, resulting in slavery.
The sin nature
influences people to operate in the lust of the flesh (physical desire),
(possessiveness) and mind (pride and arrogance). This results in sinful,
activity that threatens the stability and freedom of the family units
that have chosen to
Therefore Divine morality has provided principles of nationalism to prevent
man or one (group of men to dominate the freedoms of society through
political or religious activity.
2. The principle of parental authority is
established early in the Bible with the first family. Genesis 2:24
3. The Mosaic law first mentions the direct command to honor and respect ones
Exodus 20:12; Ex. 5:16
They represent duly constituted authority.
They are responsible for the training and equipping of the children for
in life. Deut. 32:46; Prov. 1:8; 3:1-2; Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21.
4. Ex. 20:12
honor: kAbhad is a piel imperative.
It means to recognize honor in someone and to respect it.
father and mother: parents - Moral institution #3
This is the proper authority structure for children until they become adults.
Gen. 2:24; Col. 3:20
Honor is a mental attitude that extends from the earliest child training to
1 Tim. 5:4, 8; Pr. 23:22
your days may be prolonged: proper orientation and obedience to the family
structure is the basis for freedom and stability in society.
When children consistently rebel against parents, it overflows into society
and undermines freedom and security for others.
5. THE FOUR GENERATIONS
The progress of negative volition through 4 generations is illustrated in Prov.
A. The first generation: v. 11
1. There is a kind: dōr = a
generation = there is a generation.
to one link in a family tree.
b. This is
the first in a chain of negative volition to divine standards
for human morality.
c. Rejection of divine authority is not mentioned, but the moral depravity
in the family is explained.
2. Who curses: qAlal - not really to put a curse on, but to speak with
Its a word for rejection and disdain for authority.
3. His father: indicates the object of contempt.
father's authority is rejected because of creature arrogance rejecting
the values of divine morality.
b. Self is
placed on a level higher than morality and therefore rejects whatever
tries to keep self under control.
c. It begins
with parental authority.
4. The rejection of the mother's authority:
a. And does
not bless: bArak in the piel imperfect means to bend the knee to,
respect, to speak praise of someone.
b. Plus the
negative (not) indicates failure to do this.
c. He rejects
mother's role in the family.
d. He does
not honor her with action or word.
e. But in
contrast, the implication is that he attacks her instead.
f. He should
learn from his mother's teaching and example. Prov. 31:1ff
5. And so, we have generation #1, rejecting divine authority as it is
in family morality.
B. Generation #2: v. 12
1. There is a generation: dōr - his
father rejected parental authority
and is going
to reflect that to his own children.
2. It could manifest in two ways: super strict or super lenient.
3. So the child will grow up with a
distorted example in life.
As a result, he
turns his focus on self even more than his father did.
4. Pure: tAhōr = clean, pure, faultless.
5. In his own eyes: the perspective
He is faultless and
everyone else is weak and imperfect.
6. Yet he is not washed: in actuality there is no purity.
He is morally
and spiritually blind.
7. From his own filthiness: refers to his mental attitude of pride
a. It is the
natural trend of the sin nature to act independently from God.
b. Generation #2
has only negative parental influence so his trend leans to
a more intense expression.
c. This is called
"genetic drift." When the trends of the sin nature are not
controlled, the expressions of rebellion become more intense.
d. As this family
tree grows, the function of rebellion will become worse
and worse unless there is positive influence in the other direction.
e. See Topic:
C. Generation #3, v. 13:
1. There is a generation: This child
has been taught by example that he is "number
one" in life and everything
centers around him. You must always look out for
2. Oh how lofty are his eyes: intensity of self-centeredness.
3. Eyelids raised: repeats for great
4. Intensity of arrogance is
expressed in every area of life - He can do no wrong.
Looks down on
for his own failures.
promotes his own abilities to be greater than they are.
5. And the next generation will carry
this to the stage of intense violence.
D. Generation #4, v. 14:
1. There is a generation: The
rejection of divine authority and moral authority
the ultimate in this cycle.
2. Teeth like swords: arrogance of
self-centeredness now becomes violent.
3. Jaw teethe like knives: repeated
4. To devour: nothing stands in his
way. He promotes self interest
and promotion to
the point of destroying others.
5. The afflicted and needy are the
weak ones who get in his way.
intentionally or not, they are their and are bowled over.
6. Their philosophy is to "do to
others before they do it to you."
the natural solution to everything because they won't be pushed
anyone or anything.
E. Generation #5 is not mentioned here but based on Ex. 20:5,
the curse stops at the 4th generation.
1. If the child continues in negative
he begins a brand
new "4 generation" cycle.
2. But again, the new cycle will be
more intense in this case
because of genetic
drift as well as personal influence.
F. Two observations: v. 15-17
1. Those who live in creature
arrogance are totally occupied with the material
things of life, but
they have an insatiable desire. v. 15-16. They will never
2. The natural consequences of their
rebellion will eat up their own soul so that
they have no peace or
joy. Isaiah 57:21
3. They will die a very lonely and
miserable death because all they have is
what is in their
own soul (themselves). v. 17.
G. Divine truth is the only answer to preventing or interrupting the family
Ex. 20:6; Deut. 6:4-13
Strict national policy in attempt to offset early rebellion. Deut. 21:18-21
The rebellious "teen" is to be removed from the society before he has a chance
to initiate and/or contribute to the progress of the 4 generation curse.
Orientation to the parental authority structure.
A. Deut. 6:6-9, doctrine and morality
B. 1 Tim. 3:4 , policy
C. Child discipline: Pr. 13:14; 22:15; 23:23-14; 29:15; Heb.
D. Col. 3:21; Eph. 6:4: Character stability in parents
E. Eph. 6.1-3, obedience and honor
7. Ephesians 6:1-3 (Col.
A. Children obey your parents: This means to recognize and respond to
The verb is a present active imperative of hupakouō.
This is talking about the child who is living AT HOME under the roof
of the parents.
B. In the Lord: This is a required mandate for maintaining fellowship
It goes beyond the MORAL focus, and looks to spiritual dynamics that
testimony and witness to others.
C. Honor: This is the verb, timaō, as a present active imperative. It
means to honor, respect
and revere. This is a commanded pattern for one’s
entire life. The attitude of honor goes beyond
the home environment of childhood and applies for
D. which is the first commandment with a promise.
This was noted above via Exodus 20:12.
It involves both a personal and a national blessing.
E. Colossians 3:20
1. Children obey your parents: repeats the same verb as in Ephesians.
2. In all things: IN EVERY AREA OF LIFE. This still applies only to
children who are living IN the home under the direct authority of
3. for this is acceptable to the Lord: the adjective is euarestos. It
pleasing.” Again, the focus is on SPIRITUAL dynamics as being more
and impacting than moral dynamics.
7. Notice the contrast between the wise and the foolish son in Proverbs 15:20
A. The foolish son is the one who despises his parents (the mother).
B. The wise son (the one who honors, respects and in the proper context –
makes them happy. Of course, above and beyond the PLEASING of the
is the continuation of moral order and stability within society.
8. Proverbs 23:22 indicates that respect for parents should continue
throughout all of one’s life even when they no longer have any DIRECT
authority over the child.
9. The example of Jesus.
A. Luke 2:41-49: Jesus was not being disrespectful. There is no
This is simply the independent pursuit of truth and service.
B. Luke 2:51: Throughout his childhood he continued to be in subjection to
duly constituted moral authority.
C. John 2:1-11: No disrespect here, but a mild rebuke in an attempt to get
to focus on spiritual things rather than the physical things.
10. Honoring parents when the child is living outside the parents home does
not requires OBEDIENCE to their commands. But if one chooses not to obey, the
attitude AND ACTION of HONOR and respect MUST be maintained.
11. Out of the parents’ home, the child’s relationship will be based on
societal stability AND Bible truth. If the parents are unbelievers or
believers out of fellowship, the attitude of honor MUST still be maintained.
12. Be relaxed and respectful in answering criticisms and vitriolic remarks,
either written or verbal. Don’t “preach” at them (or any relative for that
matter) or try to coerce them into spiritual or moral actions.
13. Bible truth divides families (Mat. 10:34-38), but the principle of HONOR
must always be maintained. The choice to follow Christ rather than family
ties, is not dishonoring to parents.
14. Keep honor balanced without religious or superstitious speech or ritual.
Do not go “over-board” with excessive honor that distracts from spiritual
15. One of the last things that Jesus thought about before His physical death
was the welfare of His mother. John 19:25-27.
16 Point of conflict: What happens when the parents interfere with the child’s
pursuit of truth? Quite often parents forbid reading things or going to
meetings. I cannot find anything in Scripture that DIRECTLY addresses this
difficult situation. I don’t want to advocate DIRECT disobedience, or any
“sneaking around,” but at the same time the child should have the freedom to
pursue his own search for TRUTH. Of course, for Christian parents, when the
child might be looking “elsewhere,” we would want VETO authority. However, if
WE want to claim such authority for Christian parents, should not the
non-Christian parents have similar authority over their children?
Perhaps, as in many other areas, we must simply insist on the following of
A. For Christian parents – maintain control.
B. For children who want to pursue truth against the parents’ desire –
encourage it at
Consider the following study on CONFLICTING COMMANDS to assist in this
|God's instructions vs.
A. Every command In the Word of God
is based on a principle of absolute Divine righteousness.
B. The righteousness of God is revealed in the Word as His norms and
standards for thinking and behavior.
C. The decrees of God have established authority levels designed to
test and prove the supremacy of God and resolve the angelic conflict.
D. God has established 2 authority
levels which are necessary in the preservation of the human race so
the conflict can be resolved.
1. Spiritual authority
2. Moral authority
E. Spiritual authority defines the
rights and power of God's sovereignty over his creatures.
1. Sp. authority begins with the
Godhead as the Father delegates authority to the Son and Spirit.
2. From the Godhead, authority is delegated directly to the body of
Divine revelation - the Scripture.
3. Then indirectly to each believer
priest based on ambassadorship and stewardship.
F. Moral authority defines and
regulates interrelationships between members of the human race.
1. It too, however, has its origin
within the Godhead, as He alone knows what is best for the creature.
2. Moral authority exists In 4
2. God has placed these two levels of
authority side by side in the human race.
A. But because of freewill and the
sin nature, there is the possibility of conflict.
B. The moral authorities may not recognize or honor spiritual laws.
C. The moral authorities may not recognize or honor moral laws.
D. In other words, some authority may tell you to do something that
violates spiritual law or God's moral law.
3. God's word establishes a priority
between these 2 levels.
A. Spiritual authority is absolute as
it represents the very essence of the light system. I Jn. 1:5 - God is
light and in Him is no darkness.
B. Moral authority is delegated to
Imperfect creatures and therefore deals with principle.
C. floral authority can express Itself In an immoral way and yet it
still remains the authority.
D. When man rejects sp. authority, he
rejects the absolutes of Divine standards. This becomes religion and
has no authority over man.
E. When moral authority attempts to
restrict sp. authority, the sp. authority has priority and the
believer is not bound by the moral authority in that area.
4. Spiritual authority always has
priority over moral authority. Acts 5:29 We must obey God rather than
A. The two are not In conflict.
B. But when an imperfect moral authority sets itself up in opposition
to sp. laws, the sp. laws take precedent.
C.If a corrupt moral authority enslaves through corrupt policies, the
believer Is still under the principle of that authority unless the
oppression hinders observance of sp. laws.
D. Spiritual laws are Divine mandates
for worship and service.
E. Even though a corrupt moral authority advocates Immorality and
indeed, practices immorality, the believer Is still obligated to the
principle of authority.
F. The believer combats immorality
and apostasy within society through his witness of life and message.
Not violence nor anything that obstructs the freedom of others. 2 Cor.
G. Our Christian mandate is not to
force others to be Christian, or even moral, but to teach Truth and
provide light influence in every area of society. Eph. 5:6-21
5. The Christian obligation to
authority: Eph. 5.22-6.9
A. Marriage: 5:22-33; 1 Pet. 3:1-7
B. Children: 6:1-3
C. Parents: 6:4
D. servants: 6:5-5; 1 Pet. 2:18
E. masters: 6:9
F. Nation: 1 Pet. 2:13-14; Rom. 13:1-7
6. Principle of moral authority
delegated to human institutions.
A. John 19:11
B. Rom. 13:1-2
C. Dan. 4:17
D. Jer. 27:5-5
E. Ex. 20:12- parents
F. Gen. 3:16 marriage
7. The potential for conflict:
A. Mat. 10:34-39
B. Psalm 2:2-3
8. How to handle the crisis. Daniel
A. The conflict develops - v.1-5
1. v.1-3 - operation jealousy
2. v.4 - operation criticism - failed (1 Pet. 4:12-16)
3. v.5 - The believers vulnerability (Achilles heel) is his
dedication to spiritual laws.
B. Operation conspiracy - v.6-9
1. The. plan: create a conflict
between moral authority and Daniel's perception of spiritual
a. The king is a dupe in this
b. The political rulers are the instigators.
2. Daniel recognized the existence
of moral authority.
He was part of that moral authority.
3. The conspiracy against him
recognized the importance of spiritual authority in his life.
4. They used moral authority to try
to overrule sp. authority.
They made a law against prayer.
C. Daniel, knowing the new law,
followed spiritual law as was his custom. v.10
1. The conflict was resolved in
Daniel's soul by yielding to the higher authority.
2. Moral authority: No one shall make a petition to any god or man
besides the King (Darius) for 30 days.
3. Spiritual authority: worship and
service. Summarized at Deut. 6:1-15
D. Daniel handled the crisis by
applying Bible Truth through the operation of Faith rest in the plan
and viewpoint of God. Principle of I Pet. 3:13-17
E. The conspirators invade privacy,
1. Dan was not trying to keep
anything secret -
2. But It was still home worship done In privacy.
F. Operation hook: v. 2 - Darius
doesn't have any Idea that his best political aide is in violation of
the new law.
G. They "reel in" Darius by exposing
H. Darius tries to prevent them from taking Daniel. v.14
I. But he is bound by his own law. v.15-17
J. Comforts Daniel with what he hopes is true although he himself is
an unbeliever. v. 16b
K. Practices his religious ritual in attempt to appease God. v.15
L. In the morning, Darius hopes for the impossible. v.19-20
M. Daniel's attitude: v.21-23
v.21 - 0 King, live forever: title of
respect because Dan still recognizes the moral authority he is under.
v.22 - Explanation
1. innocent before Him - God
2. Committed no crime against Darius
v.23 - Narrative summary
1. no harm because he trusted in
his God. Principle of 1 Pet.4:19
2. No harm Is only one option In God's plan.
3. Sometimes He allows harm - even death. Heb. 11:32-39
4. But always His plan is promoted and the believer benefits from
the perspective of sp. value. I Pet. 3:13; Rom. 5:35-37
9. Dan. 3:1-18
10. Acts 5:17-42
11. Acts 4:1-31
12. Application to social action
A. These passages cannot be used to
advocate social demonstrations or physical actions for support of any
B. The issue was worship and service.
Not politics or morality.
C. Our responsibility as Christians is to represent Truth by our
witness in life and word.
D. That means we speak when we have a chance, but we do not force
ourselves upon anyone either emotionally or physically.
E. The present laws of this nation
permit us the right of peaceful assembly, and of speaking out on any
issue without fear of government reprisal.
F. And if the laws forbad us to
proclaim our message of Bible Truth, then we would be obligated to the
higher sp. law
that commands us to proclaim.
G. But never are we authorized to use
violence, oppression, coercion or invasion of privacy to make that